Raising a bully? The struggle to curb childhood abuse in schools

One morning, Ghada El-Masry received an unexpected call from her daughter’s nursery. The girl, not yet three and a half years, was bullying her classmates.

“Your daughter refuses to play with her Sudanese and Aswani classmates,” said the principal, “if they approach her, she says ‘Yuck! Go wash your face.’” She even refused to shake hands with the principal’s dark-skinned husband, again telling him to “go wash his face.”

Ghada was speechless.

Wondering whether to head for a behavior specialist or rely on the parenting diploma she had earned, Ghada chose the latter. She decided to go the indirect way, “I didn’t want to confront or punish her,” Ghada said. “Instead, I noticed that all her dolls were blonde and realized she needed to learn that people come in different shapes and colors.”

Schools: Fertile ground for bullying

Bullying's impact goes far beyond hurt feelings. In one tragic case, Sabah Walid, a middle school student with a mild intellectual disability, lost her life after being physically and emotionally bullied by classmates.

Egyptian schools report dozens of cases each year involving physical harm. According to 2018 statistics from UNICEF and the National Council for Childhood and Motherhood/NCCM, 70% of Egyptian children aged 10 to 12 experience bullying from schoolmates.

Dr. Eman Ezzat, founder of the 7emayaa/Protect campaign against harassment, bullying and violence, believes the real percentage is higher.

"Those are just the cases that get reported," she told Al Manassa.

Ezzat, who holds a PhD. in education philosophy from Cairo University, attributes the prevalence of bullying to a general lack of educational awareness and teachers' limited understanding of bullying and its dangers.

"No one takes it seriously," she said.

According to UNICEF, bullying often results in low self-esteem, academic decline, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

The family's role

Mona El-Seddawy’s experience with her 10-year-old son "Z" highlights how families can unintentionally encourage bullying.

"At home, we used to laugh at the way he mimicked us. But when he did it to his classmates, I started getting complaints. That’s when I realized something was wrong," she said.

Dr. Laila Ahmed Karam El-Din, a psychology professor at Ain Shams University, stresses the family's responsibility to protect children from becoming bullies or victims.

"If the family is supportive, makes the children feel safe and doesn’t constantly belittle them, they’ll be better equipped to resist bullying and avoid practicing it," she explained.

Toxic family dynamics—favoritism, disrespect, or lack of empathy—translate directly into a child’s behavior at school, she added.

"If the family favors one sibling over another or disregards each other’s feelings, the child will mirror that behavior with classmates,” she told Al Manassa.

Faint government response

With bullying on the rise, the government initially responded by classifying various forms of bullying—verbal, psychological, physical, and online—as criminal offenses punishable by law.

In 2018, Egypt launched its first nationwide anti-bullying campaign under the slogan #IAmAgainstBullying; a collaboration between UNICEF, the Ministry of Education/MoE, and the NCCM, featured actor Ahmed Helmy and garnered significant public attention.

However, momentum later waned.

Human rights lawyer Ahmed El-Meselhy explained that the heightened media attention at the time stemmed from direct presidential instructions. This came in the wake of public outrage after South Sudanese student John Mantooth was bullied. Mantooth was seen sitting beside President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi at the 2018 World Youth Forum.

In 2020, the Cabinet amended the Penal Code to define bullying under Article 309 (B), establishing it as a punishable crime. But today, media coverage and awareness campaigns are mostly confined to a few governorates.

Short on staff

In September 2024, the Ministry of Education issued a new code of conduct that identifies bullying as a form of intentional psychological harm, outlines punishments for violations, and refers criminal cases to the judiciary.

According to the code, each school must form a "Protection Committee" that includes the principal, parent representatives, teachers, psychological and social specialists, and the school's security officer. The committee is tasked with collecting information and handling bullying complaints.

While Layla Rouby, principal of Edfu Boys Primary School in Aswan, views the code as a "roadmap to restoring school discipline," El-Meselhy believes it remains mere ink on paper without enough trained staff to enforce it.

Rouby told Al Manassa that her school implements an anti-bullying program that includes awareness sessions, posters, and psychodrama plays during morning assemblies.

"We tell stories with a twist, then quiz the students to reinforce the message," she explained.

Both El-Meselhy and Karam El-Din agree that unless school staff believe bullying is a crime, lasting change won't happen.

"We trained some staff, but they went back to old habits. So what is the point?" El-Meselhy asked.

Bullies are victims of bullying

A lack of expertise in handling school bullying pushed Mona El-Seddawy, to seek professional help. 

“I took my son to therapy for behavior modification when things got out of hand,” she said. “The bullying wasn’t verbal anymore.”

However, the therapist said that "Z" was too young for the behavior modification sessions. Eventually, the tables turned.

“Z” became a target himself after taking corticosteroids to treat a respiratory condition. As a result, he put on weight and other students started mocking him.

In another school at Edfu, Zeinab El-Gabry the psychologist at North City Primary School, strongly opposes punishment to address bullying. Instead, she recommends building trust.

“The most important thing is gaining the child’s trust,” she told Al Manassa. “I listen without judgment. We sit down one-on-one, privately, and in a friendly setting I try to explain the harm their actions caused to their classmates.”

Trust opens communication channels. 

While she supports the MoE’s new code of conduct, she believes it’s more effective for older students in middle and high school. “With primary students, their behavior is still malleable — you can guide and reshape it more easily.”

Rechanneling children’s energy

Not everyone agrees. Dr. Iman Gaber, a mental health consultant for children and adolescents, believes in consequences. “Many bullies are trying to gain attention or assert control,” she told Al Manassa. “If schools and peers accept their behavior, it reinforces the pattern. Without consequences, they won't stop.”

She believes the biggest challenge against discipline is parents interference, a pattern which human rights lawyer Ahmed El-Meselhy confirmed. 

“We’ve seen many cases, especially in private and international schools, where the bully’s family uses their influence to pressure the administration into letting him off the hook,” he said, “Sometimes, the victim ends up punished instead, or even moved to another class.”

These methods often prove to be futile. Children usually bully out of entitlement or a lack of empathy. Gaber recommends channeling their energy into positive outlets.

Some activities offer attention and recognition—such as theater, singing, or sports. Physical activities, in particular, can help release negative energy and reduce bullying behavior.

Families of bullies must address domestic violence, neglect, or emotional invalidation that may be fueling their child’s behavior. UNICEF advocates for empathy training, encouraging children to “put themselves in others’ shoes” by imagining what it’s like to be bullied, and reminding them that their actions have real consequences.

Yet, El-Meselhy questions the limited role of the NCCM, an independent body tasked with monitoring and ensuring that ministries — especially for education and health — fulfill children’s rights. 

“According to Child Law No. 12 of 1996, amended by Law No. 12 of 2008, the council should oversee protection committees in each governorate,” he said, “but we need to see these committees take real action in schools.”

The head of the Child Rights Defense Network criticized the government’s fading interest in combating bullying. “We’ve gone back to working in isolated silos — one governorate here or there runs a campaign without a unified strategy,” he said.

How can I save my child?

Dr. Iman Ezzat, founder of the 7emayaa campaign, opts for focusing on parental awareness. “We ask parents to watch what they say to their children. Even a comment on their appearance can cause emotional harm,” she said.

“We have to remain close to our children, to support them,” she said. “Sadly, some parents bully their own kids, thinking it’s harmless teasing.”

The campaign has held around 120 anti-bullying workshops, reaching 3,000 parents and educators across 10 educational institutions in Greater Cairo.

Ezzat hopes to partner with the MoE to include ethics and behavior modules in school curricula. “I dream of reaching every school in Egypt,” she said.

She is currently developing a comprehensive training manual for teachers, staff, and daycare providers. The guide will include tools like interactive theater, songs, drawing and coloring competitions.

While, Gaber encourages families to build emotional resilience in their children so they can withstand peer bullying, El-Meselhy calls for shielding them from violent media content and warns “We’re facing a serious crisis of cyber bullying”.

Psychologist Laila Karam El-Din also believes the law alone won’t be a deterrent.

“Our schools need creative and artistic activities — outlets where students can release their energy — and scouting camps that teach values like tolerance, cooperation, and nonviolence from an early age.”

Ghada bought her daughter a dark-skinned doll and books about diversity, and started introducing her to the wider world — hoping to shift her daughter’s behavior through exposure and empathy.

As for Mona, it was her son’s illness that ultimately changed him. “His behavior improved,” she said. “He began respecting others’ personal space”

A version of this article first appeared in Arabic on March 4, 2025